Saying Less While Doing More
What I’m about to say, I say knowing I owe NO ONE an explanation for what I’ve been doing with my time. My limited interaction on social media is not a “silence” related to non-action. I have consistently acted while others idly sat by. I have used my words to amplify my voice and others. I have participated in the performative gestures of posting and reposting on social media. I have protested. I have attended meetings to mobilize. I’ve worked to be part of the solution vs part of the problem. This is a tiresome but necessary work and it wears on the heart, soul and mind. Especially when the progress that’s made doesn’t add up to all the work we’ve been doing.
I am a Black woman so I’m FULLY aware of the injustices related to living with my skin and heritage. Every time one of us (Black people) is MURDERED by law enforcement and/or racist ass white people, I’m tuned in and it angers me. Absorbing this on a consistent basis doesn’t depress or immobilize me.
IT FILLS ME WITH INSURMOUNTABLE RAGE.
I am tired of having conversations with people who claim to want solutions but continue to look to the same system that’s killing us, for the answers. Fuck anything and everyone that wants us (Black people) securely in a place of subservience and weakness. It is their (white people) fear of a Black planet that keeps us (Black people) under the oppressive thumb of racism. We don’t want absolute power; we just want to fucking breathe. We want our humanity the way other people have theirs. We want to live peacefully and be afforded the same opportunities. We want to be left the fuck alone. Because I know how much work is required to get all of this for us while the needle of progress slowly inches along, I reserve my words and energy for when I can force the needle beyond the crumbs we’ve been thrown.
I WANT WHAT WE DESERVE AS HUMANS.
FUCK THESE CRUMBS.
So what might seem to be silence from a Black woman who usually has so much to say is actually preservation of my soul and sanity. What I say matters. My Black ass life matters, regardless of being shown everyday that it doesn’t. EVERY Black life matters.
I don’t want ANY of my words to fall on deaf ears so I choose and use them wisely. I’m done shouting into the ether everyday hoping, praying, wishing, and pleading that the universe makes sure the right person hears/reads what I have to say. People read this shit and move on with their lives as if what’s being said doesn’t even matter. I’m tired of hearing that we cannot take this personal and that it just is what it is… this is our Black ass lives so it’s always personal.
So, when we’re fed the fuck up with TALKING and truly ready to overturn racist systems, let me know. I don’t mean this in a caterpillar inching its way along manner. I mean, when we’ve collectively reached the point of consistently taking back our humanity in leaps and bounds. I promise my cup will be full enough to pour out every last drop of righteous anger to get this shit done. Until then, my commitment remains to saying less while doing more.
